its been yet another long period of time since i last blogged. i get so turned off when i come online, just dont feel like blogging all of a sudden. hell yeah, im weird.
well this holiday has been a rather boring one for me. lets see, nothing much in particular to talk about. boring malaysia trip, stupid beijing, i cant remember the rest. brain aint really functioning.

sigh, its like a daily routine for me to get emo every night, with reg. we are LIFELESS souls. like lost without our other half or sth. haha.
how i wished i could just turn back time, i dont know why i cry for you every night. not like you even bother eh? i thought friendship was kinda a good idea, even if we didn turn out like we wanted. but i guess im wrong eh.
spilling all my emotions right now wouldn even mean anything, especially when you're not even keen on replying. its so hard to even talk, much less meet up.
i guess i ain of much importance to you anymore, in the first place, you dont need to now.

sometimes, i just wished i could sleep forever. maybe i'll meet God or sth.
haha

;the end


SINFUL...! i haven been blogging for at least 2 to 3 weeks, hur hurr. well im BACK! i've had so much to say, but i cant exactly remember everything. dont blame me, blame it on my lousy memory. well, lets just start off with the most recent shall we?

18th november, that was yesterday. i had two weddings to attend-miss esther ling's (i cant remember who she got married to, a good man i suppose?) and nigel&melissa- but sadly, i could only go for one. once again, NOT MY FAULT. i had something on in the morning, therefore explaining my absence. (im not being loooooongwinded, just an explanation for my friends whom i so-called "pangseh-ed" :D )
i ended up attending only nigel and melissa's wedding, but i seriously had intentions to go for the other too. aw, too bad. (:
well, summing it up, yesterday was a really long day: tuition, rushing around, nigel & melissa's wedding, drum lessons, and total slacking. okay, doesn really sound like a long day but it was tiring alright?! especially walking around in heels. hahahaa.

19th november
most of my day has been spent in church today. well, a really meaningful sunday i'd say. THANK GOD! yang received the holy spirit today, yay. and he spoke in tongues for the first time! tongues as in "neqrc jwercrjrne" stuff, or rather not a real language la huh. heh. well sermon was boring as always, but at least both of us TRIED to take down notes. haha, and it was fun sitting with natasha. (: im looking forward to church again next weekend, but that'd mark another week of the holidays gone.
after church, we decided to go home, SURPRISINGLY. but me and yang ended up going to thomson to fetch spencer. he went for a haircut, as good as bald now. had dinner and went back home. so here i am seated right in front of the computer, with nothing to do. hmm...

oh and just this week, dorothy and yang came over. they wanted to watch prison break season two but we ended up baking! how fun. i wouldn comment much but i would say that WE ARE NATURAL BAKERS. that sounds wrong but, its true! okay there's something really wrong, i cant update the pictures, but i will when i can. (:

;the end


this week has been rather eventful. well here goes:
25 oct.
as usual, i dragged myself out of bed and got my ass to school. im beginning to hate school, how everyone seems so busy and all we do is just sit and rot in class. so, reg, sy and i decided to do something different- sneak out of school. here's our definition of sneak: climb over the dumb fences. well at first i thought we were being stupid, cause all we had to do was walk out of the gates. but hell, the two security guards recognised us through the countless times they had to chase us to record our names for coming to school during recess. SO, it was the fences. at first it was only the three of us, then jane and mei en decided to join us. i shant elaborate on the whole process of choosing the exact spot on climbing over the bloody fences, and how we actually managed to do it. it was PLAIN RETARDED. well, i think we were sneaking out of school for the sake of sneaking out. im sorry but thats what you get from childhood deprived children. aw..

after we finally got over the fences, we kinda ran to the bus stop and acted like pure retards. and i realised melvin called me. i dont know what for, there could only be 3 possibilities he'd call.

1. something bad happened to james.
2. probably saw some idiots climbing over the fence or something.
3. has another FIONA in his contacts list and pressed the wrong one?

of course i prayed hard it wasnt the first. it'd be funny if it was the second, and hell. i'd not say anything about the third. sigh, i really thought i had forgotten about james, but the missed call really flooded my mind with those memories. is that something good or bad, i really dont know. i'm trying hard not to hold hopes of us being together anymore, being friends is kinda a good thing right? god help me.

26oct.
i cant remember what exactly happened. OH, other than my new maid waking me up at 7am when i obviously told her 6am. i didn really bother though, practically fell back asleep. when i finally woke up, it was already 12pm. HELL i was late for beijing's briefing. im laaaaaaaaaaazy to really elaborate. hmm.

27oct.
thats today right? well its 1.09am now, and i have barely been awake for 12 hours. i woke up at 4pm, and had a combined breakfast lunch and dinner. hm, i dont know what the hell you call it. headed down to collect my spects later on, and met glory. could tell she was rather pissed at us being late though. hm, isnt something new. (: so we trained down to plaza sing to get the chalet stuffs till about ten plus. and had supper. DAPHNE THE COW WAS SINGING AT MACS. with the power 98 powerjam thing or something. super gay puh-leeeeese. well, it was fun laughing at those bands though. GEES.

im gonna head to sleep soon, im just praying hard that i'll get over some stuffs, and not get nightmares or anything. haha, it isn nice waking up with teary eyes and realise you have been crying in your sleep.

GOODNIGHT PEOPLE.
god bless.

;the end


whoa, i've been thinking about the past, and boy, those were the times.
happy ones, sad ones, but they were great.
sometimes i just wish i could just turn back time and just let time freeze.
yeah, this sounds really corny, but really. (:

frankly speaking, i dont have anything to look forward to now.
i used to be able to look forward to the ending of exams, all for fuck's sake?
all i wanted was to be able to spend time with certain people, salvage a friendship, or rather, a relationship?
well, guess things just didn turn out the way we all wanted it to be.

gees, guess i'll so look forward to beijing.
but first, THIS SUNDAY. :D
frontliners duty here i come...!

whee, im a happy child.
love aint about possession is it?

;the end


alright, i was thinking
should i ever let a creep destroy my life?
nah, he's got someone else anyway.
someone else better? hahaa.
why not right, when she can make you go allllllllllllllllll the waaaaaaaay down town.
and yadayadayada.
i think i deserve muuuuuuuuuch better than this.
and i know my lord WILL provide.
(: yea he will.

whooooo good day today.

;the end


yes, my blog is rotting my socks off.

so you think im not serious.
im not the one.
this aint a mature relationship.
OH it isnt about any other girl.
definitely.

special place in your heart?
you too.
the one who shredded mine.

thanks.
at least i know i love you.
or rather loved you.

;the end


right, its 10.32pm now and i just got home. hell was it a loooooong day i had.
i was dragged out of bed at 9.00am for tuition this morning. ITS 30 MINUTES LESS SLEEP THAN I HAVE EVERY ORDINARY TUITION SATURDAY. well, there were humans hired to come over to my home to hack off the air conditioner which has been dripping water since i-have-no-idea-when. probably long enought that i've gotten used to it, and i think im gonna have difficulty sleeping without the choral drips. oh my.

i think i consider myself a fillial daughter already. i haven angered my parents REEEAAAALLY badly for quite a long time. great accomplishment uh? (: well, i went for jamming today. 2nd time im actually 'playing' drums. and yes, its a hell lot of fun.. and stress. i couldn master even a song today. im only halfway through. probably what you'd all call, no musical talent. hm, sometimes i wonder if i should really be part of the band. serious speaking, i think i'd be more of a hindrance than help? not help, but probably holding them back. lets think ahead: with me, they'd still be lagging behind after weeks. without me: woooooolala, i bet they'd make it BIG. and i mean BIG BIG BIG.

hmm.
sad case.

;the end